...I'm one of those crazy people...

I finally crossed a line today that I never thought I would. Typical for this sort of action - I feel terrible.

I ran in 30 degree plus weather, no shade, in black work-out clothes. I managed to do 3K with one walking break. Don't ask me how long I took to do it, cause I didn't time this absurdity.

I used to drive by people running in hot weather and wondered why the hell would they do such a stupid thing, or hear on the radio that folks collapsed during a physical activity in hot weather...well yes! What would you expect?

I haven't been running in over 2 weeks and I can *feel* the army run getting closer. I have had back problems these last couple of weeks and work has made it hard to fit time in and I have tried to avoid this weather for as long as possible. I NEEDED to run and for the first half of my run, I felt pretty good. It was the last half that dragged my ass along, and at one point I was driven off the path by cyclists. So not my best run but it was great opportunity to work on my mental game and to taste insanity.

Other updates - early July I was at the Dr. office and weighed myself in at 245.6 lbs - just over 31 ls lost in total this year. Very happy about that. I am going to go see my Dr. again about my back because it's just not healing up like any other muscle strain I have had and want to make sure I am not making it worse with certain kinds of exercises...

Excuse me while I go to the bathroom to shake a fist at my reflection in the mirror and mumble "...crazy woman!"

Jenn

the journey of the jeans...

It is a conspiracy I tell you. I was, at my heaviest, convinced I was no bigger than a size 22 jeans. All the proof I needed was a pair of jeans that I bought at a second hand place (that was a gift from the gods at only $8) *that fit me*. It was last spring 2011 and even though this pair of size 22 jeans were straight cut when the world was trying to cram their asses into "skinny jeans" (isn't that a great name for them? You can't wear them unless you are 'skinny'. Thanks lots.) I thought I looked good in them too. Here there are now.

I had some assistance, completely unrequested. 

 Ok she really didn't want to leave the photo shoot so I had to lock her out of the room.

 Alright here we go. Size 22 jeans - or so the tag says.

 Aha - but what about these black jeans that are also a size 22 according to the tag?

Let's get a closer look.

 The black are smaller. No question. So what gives blue jeans? You look more like a size 24 to me. I almost felt like I had been lied to.

 To check out the rest of my jeans to see where they 'fit', I laid down a Size '20' that I just bought at Value Village a week ago Sunday, May 6th. The Blue and Black Size 22 jeans were way to loose and baggy on my I decided I needed transition jeans that didn't cost 50 quid a go.

 So far so good. They did seem to be a size smaller than the black even upon closer scrutiny. And since I was at Value Village anyways, I decided to pick up a pair of jeans to work towards, a blue pair in a Size 18. How do they measure up?

 Confirmed - a good size difference so I consider that a worthy goal.

 And now for the last pair of jeans, in actuality just shorts, which I have saved for over 20 years. I have not been able to fit into them since my 2nd year of university but there is so much history in each threadbare patch I just couldn't see fit to donate them or put them in the bin .

 I have decided that I want to fit into them before Halloween 2012.

Since there is no label I would guess that they are a size 16, going

by the visual comparison I have here.

I am HERE now. Firmly and comfortably in a Size 20, and sliding my way down into my 18's. 

Since these pics, I have bagged up the two size 22's and other jeans of similar size and have donated them to Value Village. 

I don't need them anymore.

Jenn

PS I have also since weighed myself at a friend's place and I now at 253. Total loss of 23.6 lbs to date since the beginning of the year. Huzzah!

jog log

Did 3.4 k today in 30mins 30 seconds which brings me to just under the 9 minute/km mark.

Happy about that since lately I am having some diet and workout blues. I think the problem is that I haven't been able to weigh myself so am feeling a bit directionless. I tell myself not to rely on that number but I do like seeing it go down anyways. Except it's been about 3 weeks since I last weighed myself and celebrated being just under 260. I want to know if my efforts have kept me in the 250s and if so...where?!?

I guess I just also wish that Spring would show up. Tired of the cold and damp. I need some sun dammit!

Jenn

at Bust A Move!

What a day. I have never before seen or done anything like it.

I decided to do a bit of 'prepping' for the day by making cute little hair clips with a bunch of pink ribbon attached. I altered a white t-shirt with Bubblegum pink dylusion sprays (works awesome btw, but haven't tried to wash it yet) and in black sharpee marker I wrote on the back of the t-shirt the name of everyone who donated to my fundraising effort.

I knew that the day was going to be hard to endure but with all these fine folks 'behind me' why was I worried?

Then I dumped more "Flamingo Pink" Manic Panic Hair Gel into my hair than is recommended (it didn't really work but it was there) and did my hair into pig tails and off I went.

I met up with my awesome team "Losing It In Ottawa" and got settled in for a day of fitness and Richard Simmons!

I like this picture because I am trying to pose like a body builder - thank you Liz for the tip!

We get our spots (the organizers taped down 'corners' so we knew which spot was ours) and started with a one hour hi-lo impact cardio that got me doing some things I have never done before. I did pretty good I thought so went to take a pic of me in between classes.

So yes after my first hour long workout, still feeling pretty perky. Then came Richard Simmons!!! I didn't' know much about him personally, other than he seemed to have no shame in who he flirted with and loved to make people sweat. But his energy was palpable in the room and he seemed to excited to stay in one spot.

After the cheque presenting ceremony ($349,000.00 raised woot!) he started his hour long cardio dance work out and it was almost schitzofrenic the way he jumped from exercise to exercise. He called up women to the stage to dance with him by age group and started with the folks under 20. They would be up there with him for about 10 minutes then the next group was invited up. So when the 30-40 year olds were invited up I was ready!

I ran up to the stage to get in line to get on the stage and just as I was about to step up, a volunteer stuck her arm in front of me saying that the stage was full. WTF?!? Nononononono...and I am very ashamed of what I did next.

I pulled the longest, the poutiest, the most puppy-dog eyed expression and I hit Richard with it full bore. Poor man didn't stand a chance, and told me in his most fantastic voice "YOU - Get up HERE" and he pointed at me then beside him. I brushed past that volunteer and got a big hug and kiss from him and spent the next 10 minutes dancing on stage with him!!! I was OVER the moon happy! Can you tell from this after picture?

Suffice to say that I have NEVER had so much fun working out. More than worth the price of admission. Sadly I did not get a picture of me up there with him but I do have the memory and that is good enough for me.

After that, the day grooved along. I wasn't too fussed on the zumba - largely because it wasn't really instructional and because very hard and jarring on the knees. The Kickboxing was awesome - the instructor actually instructed and encouraged us along. The yoga was lovely too (for me to say that is something) and I even got a free 20 minute massage half way through the day.

I was very done by the end of the day. I was very happy to be picked up by my DH and DD and be driven home to a shower (the hair gel was really starting to itch) and go visit the inlaws and watch the Sens beat the Rangers (you listening boys? you did it once, you can do it again!)

Thank you so much to my fabulous team, my family, friends and supporters. I am so happy I am on this journey because I know you "have my back".

hugs

Jenn

on her first 'bad' run...

...kinda took me by surprise, but as usual, looking back it makes sense but during the run I was very confused.

I have had a very full, busy, emotional week. I am celebrating my daughters birthday today (she's 8) and I am doing Bust A Move tomorrow and birthday parties on Sunday...plus running my business and balancing my life.
So I decided to have a shorter run on Thursday morning before work - a mere 3 K (HA HA how far I have come to think 3 K can be described by the word 'mere') so I thought since I am not going LONGER I will go FASTER!!!

Off I went. I went faster than I have ever gone. I am sure that I left little dust clouds behind me as I dashed down the path. Ha.

My lungs hated me. There was no wind so I overheated in minutes. By the time I got to the halfway mark I had side stitches and my left knee throbbed at me and I was wheezing like an old set of bellows. I am sure my face was redder than a stop sign and good lord the sweat - it doesn't bear repeating where I was sweating the most.

So I decided to slow to a walk, take off my sweatshirt, to cool off and calm down my breathing for the last 1.5 k and already felt like a failure of a run because I can usually run the whole distance. What the hell was wrong?

I was struggling with my headphone cords, taking off my sweatshirt, my cel phone dropped (on the pavement!) and I ended up having to STOP COMPLETELY to rearrange my stupid clothes. I was FURIOUS with myself for lack of planning for the weather blah blah blah and was losing prescious time on my run which should have been my best time EVER!

So I started to run back after everything was done and I just couldn't keep up with my start out pace so I just jogged/shuffled back home and crossed the 'finish line' sad but still a bit confiused over what I had done wrong. I didn't enjoy my run like I usually do. Why?!??!

It was my husband who first tried to encourage me to go back to my old pace as it was still a challenge for me and not to go 'faster' unless my usual pace is not longer causing my heart rate to go up or to cause me to break out in a sweat. No fear of that happening any time soon. He also advised me that since I wasn't training for a race (not likely a race but a marathon...maybe...)

So lesson learned. I guess I wanted to push myself too much (a problem I didn't have before when trying to lose weight and exercise) and now I know I shouldn't. It works as well as not putting enough effort into it. 

hugs

Jenn

..well excuse me!

Talking about FJ in my previous post seems to have worked like an invitation for her to stick around some more.

I've managed quite nicely to avoid all Easter-related Chocolate, and we've sold almost 4 cases (48 boxes do you want some?) of girl guide cookies without one ever making it down my gullet but there are days when getting back out on the jogging path is a real struggle. Here is how it went yesterday...

Woke up late
Watched Emma go through her Easter Egg hunt - fun
Went out for breakfast.
Came home to get ready for the run - work out clothes were still in the wash
Shoot - had to put them through the wash again and then the dryer.
While I waited, I took a quick nap
Ooops woke up much later than I wanted to, I can still get my run in before going to the inlaws right? Nope. Cel phone is almost dead and I don't want to go without music. Oh well. I'll just go when I come back from the inlaws.
Oops - came back too late from the inlaws so I guess we are just going to have to put it off until tomorrow.

Today was even lamer if possible. I woke up with a bit of a crick in my back and feeling all round out of sorts. FJ walked around in my head with me all day reminding me of all the tasty things I could eat, and where they all were in the house. She also pointed out every time a joint creaked or spiked for no reason. I had everything to go out for a run but managed to stall and procrastinate until about 3pm when I finally thought to myself...if I am going to feel achey all over, I might as well have some sort of good reason for it.

Got my shit together, and ran a 4K - for the first time EVER, without stops or slowdowns and did it in 37mins and 33 secs.

5K you are so going down. And I'm taking FJ with you.

Jenn (aka NJ)

in running.

well what I do is more like jogging but "running" sounds so much more impressive doesn't it? More like a runners shuffle than the fleet footed gazelle.

But I am determined. Running was never something I understood - I have tried before but it just didn't do anything for me. Maybe because I used to smoke so much in university my lung capacity struggles to keep up with what my legs want to do.

then there is the mental games we play. The dissenting voices inside my head (for those of you returning, I have spoken of "Fat Jenn" but for anyone new reading this, "Fat Jenn" or FJ embodies all the bad habits and feeble rationalizations that got me into the unhealthy state I was before, and the "New Jenn" or NJ is the smarter, stronger me that makes good decisions and sticks with resolutions and cares about what happens to my body.)

So FJ and NJ like to meet most regularily while I run. FJ laughs and laughs and reminds NJ that she used to shake her head and wonder at all those fools sweating along the road on a hot summer day while driving in an ac vented car.  NJ ignores FJ ad whispers "Just until the next rock, the next telephone pole...you can breathe through it...come on now..."

FJ will never understand. I am leaving her slowly behind on my runs and becoming NJ. I am exploring a whole new world with running outdoors and I really do love it. I just never knew it.

Jenn