woot! Lost another 3.3 lbs! Down to 260.5lbs for a total loss of 16.3 lbs since I started!!!
win!
Did not run tonite because I hurt too badly from yesterdays workout - and I mean ACHE!!! Some would argue that it would have helped but quite frankly I am not in this for the pain and it would have hurt. I realize I need to maintain these hour-long workouts so that I don't hurt like this all the time - I was there once. I can be there again.
anyways...just thought I would throw that out there.
xoxo
Jenn
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
in her normal life...
The challenges of normal life have prevented me from blogging but I have been doggedly not letting it deter me from working out in some way or form 2-3 times a week. For a couple of weeks I was able to do 4 workouts per week and those are real accomplishments for me.
March Break threw a real wrench into the works but I managed with doing my first outdoor runs, with a friend here in town and one solo out at my mothers on an old dirt road that had a few nice rolling hills to add to the challenge. I realize I like outdoor running as there are lots of distractions when the going gets tough. Also having a friend encourage one along also helps loads!!!
I am very tempted to try a 5K run after BAM is done. Very tempted. I am already able to do 3k fairly easily...2 extra K on top of that should be easy to train up to over the next few months.
But today I am sore. I haven't done a really challenging full body workout with weights since before March Break and today I have muscle aches all over. Frig! And here I was thinking I only worked out at 90% hard yesterday morning because I knew full well this might happen and whoa-ouch.
I did weigh myself mid-march and I lost another 2.2 lbs - exactly 1 kilo. I lost another 4 inches overall when I was measured so things are going the way they should be. I am going to use a friend's scale again today to see if things have been maintained or further losses have happened but it really shouldn't matter. I am making it work into my life and am working to make these changes permanent.
This week is going to be busy with plans for my charity crop this Fri & Saturday for the Bust a Move Breast Cancer fundraising event. But I still plan on running tonite, working out tomorrow and Friday morning. It's just the way it is now. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
Jenn
March Break threw a real wrench into the works but I managed with doing my first outdoor runs, with a friend here in town and one solo out at my mothers on an old dirt road that had a few nice rolling hills to add to the challenge. I realize I like outdoor running as there are lots of distractions when the going gets tough. Also having a friend encourage one along also helps loads!!!
I am very tempted to try a 5K run after BAM is done. Very tempted. I am already able to do 3k fairly easily...2 extra K on top of that should be easy to train up to over the next few months.
But today I am sore. I haven't done a really challenging full body workout with weights since before March Break and today I have muscle aches all over. Frig! And here I was thinking I only worked out at 90% hard yesterday morning because I knew full well this might happen and whoa-ouch.
I did weigh myself mid-march and I lost another 2.2 lbs - exactly 1 kilo. I lost another 4 inches overall when I was measured so things are going the way they should be. I am going to use a friend's scale again today to see if things have been maintained or further losses have happened but it really shouldn't matter. I am making it work into my life and am working to make these changes permanent.
This week is going to be busy with plans for my charity crop this Fri & Saturday for the Bust a Move Breast Cancer fundraising event. But I still plan on running tonite, working out tomorrow and Friday morning. It's just the way it is now. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
Jenn
Sunday, March 4, 2012
...but that's ok...
I have an odd theory, but after reading posts on LOI for the last 6 months or so, maybe its not so weird.
I think fat has emotional memories.
Hear me out before you call the funny farm. I own the fact that alot of my extra poundage on my substantial frame is due to eating because of stress, and stress afterwards derived from feeling fat and worthless drives me to eat more and so on and so forth. And the problems causing the over-eating aren't dealt with, but instead consumed and stored in the fat on different parts of my body. Consider also that this has been going on FOR YEARS.
Alot of pounds and alot of issues not dealt with. Part of the "New Jenn" is wondering when the "Old Jenn" is going to return and take control and returns to the above mentioned destructive behaviour. I feel like I am on constant guard against the "Old Jenn", but so far so good. I am closing in on being an ACTIVE member of a gym for 2 months and part of me sits in a near stupor of the wonder of it all. But I digress.
When I work out, especially during an hour long class at the Y, I am improving but I am mightily challenged with all the exercises. There have been fleeting moments during the most difficult exercises (usually about 2/3rd's of the way through when everything is trembling) that I encourage myself by saying "This is when the fat gets burned Jenn, so push through it. This is when the fat goes!!!" and then it I am overcome with the urge to sob.
What the hell? But it's happened in class and on the treadmill. It's quick but definitive and I have come to conclude it's a moment when another pound has released it's hold on me and all that's left is that little bitter residue of emotion that caused that pound to be....just evaporating from my tear ducts.
What if I have been clutching on to this weight all this time because there are all these emotional grenades hidden in every other kilo? Then it occurs to me that maybe if I start to forgive myself for all the damage I let happen that maybe the lbs will let go...more gently? I know I have a long journey. Another 89 lbs if my math is correct. There are reasons I let myself get to this state of unhealthy and more than ever I am convinced I have to deal with each problem or the weight will never let me go.
Correction - I have to deal with each problem or I WILL NEVER LET GO OF THE WEIGHT.
I have to let go.
To lose it.
Jenn
I think fat has emotional memories.
Hear me out before you call the funny farm. I own the fact that alot of my extra poundage on my substantial frame is due to eating because of stress, and stress afterwards derived from feeling fat and worthless drives me to eat more and so on and so forth. And the problems causing the over-eating aren't dealt with, but instead consumed and stored in the fat on different parts of my body. Consider also that this has been going on FOR YEARS.
Alot of pounds and alot of issues not dealt with. Part of the "New Jenn" is wondering when the "Old Jenn" is going to return and take control and returns to the above mentioned destructive behaviour. I feel like I am on constant guard against the "Old Jenn", but so far so good. I am closing in on being an ACTIVE member of a gym for 2 months and part of me sits in a near stupor of the wonder of it all. But I digress.
When I work out, especially during an hour long class at the Y, I am improving but I am mightily challenged with all the exercises. There have been fleeting moments during the most difficult exercises (usually about 2/3rd's of the way through when everything is trembling) that I encourage myself by saying "This is when the fat gets burned Jenn, so push through it. This is when the fat goes!!!" and then it I am overcome with the urge to sob.
What the hell? But it's happened in class and on the treadmill. It's quick but definitive and I have come to conclude it's a moment when another pound has released it's hold on me and all that's left is that little bitter residue of emotion that caused that pound to be....just evaporating from my tear ducts.
What if I have been clutching on to this weight all this time because there are all these emotional grenades hidden in every other kilo? Then it occurs to me that maybe if I start to forgive myself for all the damage I let happen that maybe the lbs will let go...more gently? I know I have a long journey. Another 89 lbs if my math is correct. There are reasons I let myself get to this state of unhealthy and more than ever I am convinced I have to deal with each problem or the weight will never let me go.
Correction - I have to deal with each problem or I WILL NEVER LET GO OF THE WEIGHT.
I have to let go.
To lose it.
Jenn
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